Diabetes will make your penis fall off... unless you're a girl. I don't know what happens to girls... saggy breasts... probably something like that. Next time you see a girl that looks funny, ask her if she has diabetes. Let me know. Anyway, in most cases, diabetes can be easily controlled with diet and exercise. If that doesn't work you might have to take some pills too... and maybe some really painful shots. If none of that works your penis is going to fall off. If you're thinking, "What the hell, I'm old and the damned thing don't work anymore anyway," well, bad attitude, cause other crappy stuff can happen, too - I don't know what, but I'm sure its crappy.

So, diet and exercise is the best bet (of course, you gotta do the stuff your doctor makes you do too). In his infinite wisdom, God has created a bounty of wonderful foods for us to eat. Then, as a little joke, he created diabetes so we can't eat most of them. It's cool that he has a sense of humor. Some Gods don't. He, also, created a lot of doctors that don't know jack about diabetes (and some that do) but that's ok, I know all about it. You can trust me.

Back to diet. Your not supposed to eat sugar but pretty much everything has sugar in it so that's that. Your not supposed to eat carbohydrates either but everything except fried pork skins has carbohydrates in it so, well, bummer.

Ready for the secret? Ok, here it is.

(DISCLAIMER: If you take my advice and die from it... I learned a lot of this stuff from those people at alt.support.diabetes and some of them are pretty weird, blame them.)

So, what's the story on what you eat? Its all about keeping your blood glucose levels within a tolerable range. What's a tolerable range?... huh, uh! I'm not getting into that... go to
http://www.alt-support-diabetes.org/NewlyDiagnosed.htm.... it's all there. This is about food and stuff.

Now, get out your meter. What's a meter, you ask? Oh boy, here we go... don't you know nothin? Go somewhere and find out what a meter is, I'll wait.

Ok, are you back? Good! Now that you know what a meter is, get out your meter. Now eat something. Now wait an hour. Now stick your finger and check your blood. If it's high, don't eat it again (or eat less of it next time). Do this with a lot of foods. That's the way you find out what, and how much of it, you can eat. Simple, huh? Of course you gotta use your head a little and don't start with mashed potatoes and candied carrots.

Here's what you're gonna find out. A few things like potatos, carrots, corn, regular breads, stuff made with regular flour and banana splits are, probably, going to spike you pretty good ("spike" is a term used by professional diabetics that means your bgs shot up when you ate a bon bon). So, you want to stay away from spikey foods or, at least, eat them in small portions. Generally, the only foods you will have to eliminate from your diet are the ones you love the most. The rule of thumb is: if you like it, you probably can't eat it. Then again, maybe not. Use your meter.

Each time you find something you can eat, go to
alt.support.diabetes and post a thread about it. Post lots of threads… ask the same questions over and over,.... type your posts in all capital letters, they like that.

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